February 4, 2012 by Michael

Richard Westley on Why He Loves Having a Daughter

I was introduced to this pastor through a friend, and he has a splendid post about why he loves having a daughter.

I have just a few months before my youngest child and daughter turns two. Cora Mae Nicole Johnson is a bright soul in my life. Her smile is gorgeous and she’s becoming quite an entertainer. I wish you could see her dance and hear her sing and watch her act as if all eyes are not on her. Because I just had the inspiration to write about her, I thought I’d share what I am learning from “missy”. My dreams for her are rooted in my theology that God equally calls and equips women for vocational ministry and service in the church. Although I don’t necessarily see call of God for Cora to serve in a vocational ministry space, I certainly don’t want our culture nor the church to limit her opportunities to reach any potential the Spirit imparts to her. So without further adue…my list for why I am thankful to have a daughter.

Cora Mae teaches me to pay attention to gender differences. I rough house with my boys and I muyst be mindful that Cora is not like that. I can’t give a skowl to her (in jest) and expect her to playfully skowl back at me. Her feelings can not be played with…and must be nurtured and protected. One look could just about ruin a day for her and me.

A daughter truly gives me a love that is different from my boys. Just listening to her say, “daddy” is enough to make my day. I don’t feel called into competition nor do I feel as if need to coach with Cora. Strangely, I am more relaxed around her. Think about #1 on this list and you might assume I’d be on pins and needles around her. On the contrary, I feel more at ease with Cora…playful. With my boys I feel a sense of responsibility to prepare them for a harsh world.

Click here to finish reading Richard’s post.

January 28, 2012 by Michael

It’s A Book

Publishing, Quotes, Reading, Writing
3 Comments

I saw this on Rachelle Gardner’s blog.

January 27, 2012 by Michael

A writing prompt from a seasoned and always humorous agent about a query she received.

Betsy Lerner

Got another query letter from prison today. It comes stamped on the back with a notice about what to do if you are receiving unwanted correspondence from an inmate. This particular prisoner quoted some of the best bits in The Forest For The Trees to impress upon me why I might like his work. Many writers have done this, but when it comes from the incarcerated it is unbelievably touching and a little scary. The letter was also hand written in the neatest imaginable block letters. Maybe I’ve seen Dead Man Walking too many times, but it amazes me to think that my book has found its way into a prison and a person there who wants or needs to write connected with it. I once read that a prisoner who was denied pencil and paper wrote sentences on the roof of his mouth with his tongue.

Did everybody write…

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January 24, 2012 by Michael

Mondays With My Boy #19

Perhaps the most important thing we did was pick up these and take a few to my wife before her evening class.

From Churro Factory

January 22, 2012 by Michael

Radiance Shining Back

I was tempted to title my re-post of this great article “Standing Naked in the Mirror.” But I didn’t want the spam. In writing his post Janell Burley Hofmann does a great service to parents, playmates, friends of children, uncles and aunts, and extended family members. I saw it on Margo’s FB wall and over at the Huffington Post, but it appeared originally at rachelsimmons.com, where I’m linking below:

I am sitting, cross legged, on the bathroom floor trimming my five year old daughters’ toenails. My nine year old son showers his muddy body as I lean against the tub. My three year old daughter wrestles herself into pajamas in her bedroom. My eleven year old son bursts in from football practice and hollers upstairs about reheating leftovers and having a sore throat. My husband is out dropping our minivan off for a tune up. The sun has set and we’re putting another day to rest. In the confusion of this typical weeknight, I glance up from the floor at my seven year old daughter, standing on the step stool, completely undressed, brushing her teeth. I don’t like the way she is looking at herself in the mirror. I don’t like the way she pokes at her belly and frowns at her profile. I watch her for another minute and step in.

“What’s up, girl?” I ask. “I’m fat.” she responds without hesitation. I’m instantly weak. She continues, “My stomach jiggles when I run. I want to be skinny. I want my stomach to go flat down.” I am silent. I have read the books, the blogs, the research. I have aced gender studies, mass media, society and culture courses in college. I have given advice to other mothers. I run workshops and programming for middle school girls. I have traveled across the world to empower women and children in poverty. I am over qualified to handle this comment. But in reality, my heart just breaks instead. I am mush. Not my girl.

I rally some composure and stay cool. “You are built just perfect – strong and healthy.” And she is. But this doesn’t soothe.

Click here to finish reading.

January 20, 2012 by Michael

Stuff Black Parents Say

This video is hilarious. And sobering. Because I’ve said about 40% of this! This man’s been in my house…

January 6, 2012 by Michael

“…a fair estimate…”

This childish portrait needs, of course, some rectification. No boy can make a fair estimate of his father. I was thirty years old before I was able to do it. The average boy all along thinks highly of his mother. In manhood he is likely even to sentimentalize her faults into tender virtues. With his male parent it is not so; his opinion goes through a range of changes and tends to be critical rather than sentimental. Up to ten a boy thinks his father knows everything; at twenty he indulgently looks upon the “old man” as a back number or, maybe, something less complimentary; at thirty, if the boy himself has any sense, he recognizes all of his father’s qualities pretty fairly.

December 28, 2011 by Michael

Writing & The View Ahead

These sentences sing to me. They’re from Andrew X. Pham.

It has been a long arduous road, filled with dark abysses, marvelous heights, gut-rotting doubts, exquisite joys, heartbreaks, piercing loneliness, lasting friendships, memorable feasts, and long stretches of hunger. The view ahead seems to promise more of the same.

December 24, 2011 by Michael

Fathers Know Best, Interview #6

FF: Describe your family.

KS: Family of origin is two parents (both deceased), biological brother, 18months my senior, and an adopted sister, 6 years my junior. Current family is my lovely wife Linda of 37 years, son David, daughter-in-law Maggie and grandson Eliot in Chicago and daughter Anne Marie and son-in-law Tony in Singapore.

FF: How has fatherhood changed you?

KS: Fatherhood has given me the privilege of looking at life through a lens 25 years younger than my own. In some strange way the world of my children and, now, grandchild has become my world as well. I am now responsible for more than just my world. Fatherhood has energized and motivated me because I want to experience life with my children and not just observe. Fatherhood has also given me an immense amount of hope for the next generation.

FF: Have you made any mistakes as a dad? If you’re not a liar, name one and talk about what it meant to you..

KS: Just one?! I should not have been so trusting of others when it came to the care of my children. I did not protect them the way I should have.

FF: What’s the most helpful advice you heard when you were becoming a father or as you’ve been a father?

KS: Say “yes” as often as you can. Raise your child to flourish in the world not to remain dependent on you. Don’t fight with your kids over their choices of clothing and shoes; just give them a budget and turn them loose.

FF: How do you attend to your relationship with your wife because of parenting? Has parenting changed your marriage?

KS: Creatively. We had to find new ways to connect with each other and it could not always be on our schedule. Intentional conversations about non-kid topics.

FF: Talk about staying in the lives of your children for the long-range. What is that like? What do you do differently, for instance, with your grown children that you didn’t do when they were younger? What does it take for you to stay invested in them and in your relationship with them?

KS: We have communication tools today that greatly facilitate long distance connectivity. We make good use of those but somehow the monitor is not a full substitute for face-to-face time. We make traveling and being together a priority in our time and resources. I don’t worry about my grown children like I did when they were under my roof. That allows space for all kinds of adult interaction that is a lot more fun. As best as I can, I want to understand their world so I try to jump in whenever it is appropriate.

FF: What surprises are there along the way for parents? What do you wish you were told to expect?

KS: Most of the negative stereotypes of child development stages are wrong. They are more likely to manifest if you are anticipating them. Every season brought more joy then stress. Kids understand and can respond to a whole lot more than we give them credit for.

FF: What is one recent memory you made with your children?

KS: Spending a couple weeks with all of us together in Taiwan.

Michael Washington

Reflections on the Spiritual Life

Category / Quotes