I’m reading about bodies a lot, particularly black bodies, and I’m also reading about trauma, though not trauma theory per se. I’m doing this for my course of study and because my courses are of interest to me, I’m doing this for me.

These readings are at work on my consciousness, hopefully helping me think about and see people in their bodies. I’d like to be a person who knows how to actually participate, in a healing way, in the lives of people who have been hurt.

As a man who’s trying to live in his body and who feels that everyday, with all the nuances that falling on the floor with my boys brings; or being kicked while sparring offers the second day after that class; or after sitting too long and hearing of sounds of my loosening joints; or, hell, waking up and getting out of bed and needing what my yoga teacher calls a full body stretch (who knew I’d need to do that?); as that person, it’s getting harder to forget about my body.

I like remembering my body, acquainting myself with this physical blackness that walks through the world. And I’m starting to re-view history of the last couple years when I was just going and going and holding at bay this awareness. I’m learning how to notice my self.

I hope I’m learning how to notice the same self in others. I think it’s getting easier to consider, to see, and to hold in my gaze and in my mind the bodies of others.

I wonder what you hope you’re learning? What are you currently seeing?