There are a host of feelings that come with starting something. And then there’s that slightly nuanced feeling with starting over.
Starting over almost always comes with a note of judgment. Somewhere–and this is not necessarily the predominant note–we say to ourselves that we did something wrong.
Starting over implies a wrong turn, a mistake, a veering off course. Starting over is what happens when you didn’t end the right way, whatever that is.
I’m learning to get curious about that that. I’m learning that it’s worth me mining my judgments about myself.
Maybe I didn’t do what I could have done. Maybe I did everything right. Maybe starting over is the opposite of judgment. Perhaps this is the beginning of grace.
Perhaps what I was up to before was what was itself the wrong course. Maybe I’m exactly where I should be at this starting line. Maybe gratitude is the antidote to judgment.