I read these strategies over at the Crunk Feminist Collective, and while they’re especially written for Black women, I think all women and all men who love women and want to love women well should ingest them.  We need to know how to live, how to address the stressors in our lives, how to stop pushing away our “needs and desires down until we can’t feel them anymore.”

I think mothers, fathers, and friends of mothers and fathers need to be aware these strategies for staying alive.  I think of this list, and lists like them, as little love points for the people I care about.  I think these are some of the ways we ought to push each other live and thrive and flourish.

Read the full post here.  Because there’s a steeped personal introduction to the tips, a poem you really need to sip, a lot words I’ve left, and a few other things that are worth seeing over in the Collective.

1. Take some time to/for yourself and be unapologetic about it.  At least one hour a day should be yours.
2. Say no!  Be impolite.  Say no (without an explanation/reason).
3. Reject negativity.  …we don’t have to take on other people’s baggage.
4. Pay attention to your body.  When your body speaks, listen!  And do something about it.
5. Have a bi-annual or annual check-up.  While sometimes our family histories can be mysteries, it is important to know what hereditary diseases or ailments you may be at risk for.
6. Do a regular inventory and purge anything toxic in your life.  This includes people, relationships, thoughts, habits, and hobbies.
7. Let people go.  If someone fails to treat you like the queen you are…on to the next one.
8. Don’t be a people pleaser.  Living your life for yourself and not for other people makes a world of difference.
9. Have a confidante.  We should all have someone in our life we don’t have to “put on” for.
10. Celebrate yourself and your accomplishments even if/when you have to do it (by/for) yourself.  Don’t miss an opportunity to acknowledge all of what/who you are and where you come from.
11. Take care of yourself mentally, physically and spiritually.  Figure out how best to take care of yourself.
12. Kick it, regularly, with your homegirls.  This can be magic.
13. Let people do things for you.  When someone offers to do something for you, let them!

If I didn’t suggest this already, read the full post here.