…I’ve been meaning to ask you a few questions.

1. Do your little friends say “no” to their parents or is this your own wise idea?
2. Can you believe that I gave you that look and so its impact on me is nil?
3. Will you learn that there are other colors in the world outside of red, green, and blue?
4. Why do you say “bus school” and not “school bus”?
5. You do remember that you don’t actually have a room but that we’re really generous?
6. How long is this phase where you point out, with sirens, every fire truck and police car?
7. Have I mentioned that I’m impressed that you know your ABCs?
8. You know it’s unacceptable to tell restaurant staff to get away from you?
9. By the way, who have you heard say such things—for real?
10. How long do I have to remind you that you always wash hands after the potty?
11. Who told you that you could tell me or your mother not to touch you?
12. Don’t you want to go visit one of your grandmothers?